Why Aren’t Some Cats Affectionate?

Anyone who has ever met a cat knows how interesting they can be. Cats do have a reputation for being a bit more standoffish than dogs, but some cats are more friendly and cuddle more often than other cats do. What causes this difference in affection among cats? Why aren’t some cats more affectionate?

why aren't some cats affectionate?

The Aging Process

In my own experience, my cat started off as quite unaffectionate with me. My husband and I adopted him from the animal shelter when he was just a tiny little kitten. From the beginning, our cat has always favored my husband (even though I’m the one who had the idea to adopt a cat!). For the first several years we had him, he would hardly ever snuggle with either one of us.

Eventually, though, he began hopping up onto my blanket as I huddled on the sofa to watch TV in the colder winter months. It kind of shocked me the first few times it happened, but now it’s a pretty regular thing. Sometimes, as with my cat, young cats just don’t feel all that affectionate but that may change as they get older and need less active playtime.


Ever had the opportunity to meet more than one cat in your life? Then you likely know how different each cat can be. Just like with humans, cats have their own personalities. This includes behaviors like snuggling or letting you pet them. Some cats love being petted and sitting quietly with you while some cats would much rather play or watch the birds out the window. It’s pretty similar to introverts versus extroverts if you think about it.

Some argue that male cats are more affectionate than female cats, more on that here on cattitudedaily.com.

Experiences as a Kitten

Sometimes, cats’ level of affection can be impacted by their experiences as a baby. If you adopted your kitty early on in her life and want to help her be more affectionate, make sure you give her love and attention while she’s young. Experiencing gentle affection from humans could help encourage kittens to grow into more affectionate older cats.

If you adopted your cat as a young adult or a senior, you obviously can’t change their experiences as a younger cat. However, you can try to help encourage affection by being calm around your cat and letting him know he can trust you. Ensuring he’s well cared for could help you two build trust and, in time, may prompt him to show you a little more affection here and there.

Don’t Force Affection

As with humans, there’s no magic potion to make your cat love you more. You can’t make her snuggle with you if she doesn’t want to. Don’t force your cat to be affectionate if he or she isn’t really inclined to be! Fall back on the old standby of letting cats come to you, on their terms.

If they sniff you and allow you to give them a gentle back rub or ear rub, do so. But don’t overstay your welcome! Be content with the level of affection your cat offers and know she’s probably grateful for all you do for her—way deep down, of course.

Did you learn anything new and interesting about our feline friends? Share this article with other cat lovers that you know so that they can learn something, too.

cats affectionate

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